Five of Cups - are you stuck in the past?
I was shuffling my cards the other day, getting ready to do a card conversation, something I do every week to see what lessons are to be learned and what new insights they can tell me – yes I talk to my cards and they talk to me but that’s another blog for another day. There I was shuffling away and the Five of Cups jumped out at me 3 times one after the other, now if that’s not a sign of something to say I don’t know what is.
The 5 of Cups card usually depicts a figure standing before three spilled cups, representing loss, disappointment, and emotional turmoil. The person's head is bowed, expressing their grief and sorrow. Beside them two cups remain standing behind, indicating potential for healing and renewal. In the Druidcraft tarot an otter is chasing a fish, it’s eyes on the prize of an easy meal. The energy of the card blends the emotional heartbeat of the Cups suit with the transitional energy of the Number 5, the number of change and transformation that sits between the stability and comfort of the 4 and 6. In my deck the colour of the card is muted and hazy, the energy is stuck, uncertain and the water is relentless, just like the hungry otter.
Traditionally 5 of Cups tarot card urges us to acknowledge and process our emotions surrounding past disappointments, regrets, and losses. It serves as a reminder that dwelling on what went wrong can keep us from embracing what remains and moving forward. While it’s natural to grieve, it’s unhealthy to keep coming back to this emotional turmoil, the card encourages us to shift our focus from the spilled cups to the ones that still hold the potential for something better, something new. From a coaching perspective I always think this card is of the emotional observer, the person who feels everything in one moment while watching others getting on with their lives from a place of grief and loss. Overwhelmed, isolated and possibly caught in a loop of negative thinking. Perhaps someone who spends too much time on social media, stalking people or always allowing the success of others to keep them in one place for too long. The person who can’t let a story from their past go, it’s repeated and ruminated over time and time again. They can become clouded as they lose perspective, creating a constant flow of negative emotions to keep returning to, reflecting their loss and keeping the story going.
When the 5 of Cups appears in a tarot coaching session, it’s often a sign of emotional blocks that need to be explored in a safe and non-retraumatising way. There is an opportunity to coach the past in a way that reframes the story to view it from a different perspective, to allow freedom from this emotional cycle, to work with change energy of the 5 and break bad habits. It signifies an opportunity for healing and growth, reminding us we have a choice in how we respond to setbacks and challenges. Instead of getting stuck in a cycle of regret or self-pity, the card prompts us to acknowledge our pain, process it and seek the lessons it offers. It emphasizes the importance of self compassion, to help you release the burdens of the past and embrace a brighter future.
Boundaries and changes to think about
If you are struggling to release the past, if you keep going back to the scene of the crime or sift through events, perhaps you have become too addicted to social media, you pick up your phone in the wee small hours to scroll through what might have been or to reinforce your feelings of who was right or wrong in a situation reinforcing the victim/blame cycle. You need to find ways to change your response to these events and take control of the outcome rather than be continually moved by them.
To move forward from the disappointments or losses represented by the 5 of Cups, we must take inventory of the positives in our lives. By shifting our perspective and focusing on what remains, we open ourselves to new possibilities and experiences. You might need to spend some time weaning yourself off certain behaviours that have become habit. If this does involve social media or texting people to ruminate over events, be gentle with yourself but do set some boundaries. Block accounts, limit your time on social media, when you feel the need to check put your phone down and have something else you can do, that might be 10 minutes of visualising your future self in your future life that you have created, without these intense feelings of disappointment, a time in the future when these feelings have passed, really imagine it in detail, nothing is too small, what will you be doing, feeling, seeing? If you must visit the past make sure you limit yourself, if you have been doing this 5 times a day try to do it for 4, then 3, then 2 etc If you fall out of it briefly don’t be hard on yourself, you have the next day to regain balance.
It might be useful to look at what you’re feeling and why, be honest with yourself if you could really have changed the outcome of the situation, are you entirely to blame or could you really have changed how others behaved or reacted? If you feel you made a fool or yourself or you should have known better when it came to a events, is that really the case? Could you have predicted the outcome from the beginning? By all means take responsibility but only for what you have or had the power to change, remember you can’t control the behaviour of others, only your own behaviour and sometimes the universe conspires in a ways that have no explanation, sometimes things are just as they are nothing more nothing less.
It’s also worth noting the energy of the 5 at play here, I always thing it’s better to work with the change energy contained in the number 5 rather than let it take over, it really is the springboard into the healing energy of the number 6 so it’s a good time to think about making changes and what change would look and feel like for you.
The cards of the minor arcana can be deceptively complex and offer us just as much opportunity for learning and change as the Majors. The 5 of Cups tarot card reminds us that healing and growth are possible, even in the face of loss and disappointment. By acknowledging our emotions, seeking the lessons within, and shifting our focus towards what remains, we can move forward with strength, resilience, and a renewed sense of hope.
If you’re stuck in an emotional loop and need supported to find a way through it book a tarot coaching session today.